Break up with Indecision

Have you ever wondered how many decisions you make in a single day? They say it's over 35,000, maybe even more! Frankly, I've never counted, nor do I intend to start lol. However, the reality remains: we make countless decisions every day.

Since becoming a mother, the spotlight on my decisions has intensified significantly. Over the past year and a half, I've encountered numerous days where the pressure of decision-making became paralyzing and overwhelming. Especially dealing with the consequences of learning my sons allergies with food and fragrances. On those days, accomplishing even the bare minimum felt like lifting the weight of the world off my shoulders. Ensuring my son's well-being was/is non-negotiable, despite the internal and external struggles. In the early months of motherhood, the days would slip away, leaving me with a sense of failure and self-criticism for not getting everything I wanted done. Reflecting on it now, I realize how harshly I judged myself. Unfortunate, yet sad reality.

About a week ago, I turned 27. With my birthday in February, so close to the new year, I've often pondered how to become my best self in the coming year and at this new age. As 2024 dawned, I resolved to break free from my self-sabotaging tendencies. Despite years of personal development efforts, I found myself stuck in a cycle of awareness without meaningful change. It was like watching a movie of my own life, screaming at the screen “Snap out of it!”

In 2023, my mind was split. One part yearned for improvement, while the other operated on autopilot. By year's end, I realized my subconscious held far more sway over me than mere desires for change. How could I enact real transformation when bullying myself, self-sabotage, and avoidance only led to stagnation?

I decided to embrace self-love wholeheartedly. I asked myself, what does it truly mean to love myself? The journey began with a simple task I'd postponed for months: cleaning out my closet. I purged everything that didn't spark joy, a la Marie Kondo. Polyester, in particular, had to go (not related to the topic but worth mentioning lol.) Amidst multiple trips to the thrift store, I felt a weight lifting from both my body and mind. It was liberating, and I craved more.

As I expanded my decluttering efforts beyond the closet, I realized the deeper significance. I took action. Amidst the process, I caught myself berating for not moving fast enough. In a transformative moment, I stood up for myself, affirming, "We don't do that anymore." It was empowering, basking in the bliss of self-acceptance.

So, what does this have to do with decisions? I recently listened to a Mel Robbins podcast about the 51% rule, which shifted my perspective. The guest distinguished between Door 1 and Door 2 decisions. Door 1 decisions are irreversible, requiring careful consideration. Conversely, Door 2 decisions allow for course correction. I realized I treated most decisions as if they were Door 1, suffocating under the pressure of perfection. This fear of making the wrong choice led to decision paralysis and self-doubt. When in fact most of the decisions were Door 2 decisions, a door I can walk back through.

The 51% rule advocates for action when you're 51% sure of your decision. Waiting for 100% certainty leads to stagnation as you’ll only be sure it was the right decision in hindsight after you’ve made it. The podcast shared a story of a father deliberating a business deal for a decade, while his son swiftly made decisions and progressed at much faster rate. It dawned on me: embracing uncertainty and learning from decisions, whether they succeed or fail, is key to growth.

I don’t need to know the perfect answer to all the decisions I make in a day. What’s important is that I make a decision and move forward with my life. Make mistakes. Fall flat on my face. Get back up, apply what I’ve learned, and keep going.

In conclusion, my journey towards self-love intertwined with redefining how I approach decisions. Embracing imperfection, trusting my instincts, and learning from each choice has been transformative. It's not about getting it right every time, but about the courage to act and evolve. As I navigate motherhood and life, I choose self-love and decisive action, and being okay with the decisions I make because I made them, regardless of the result, knowing that that's where true growth lies.